Shut Up!

Control is an amazing thing - not control of others but the freedom of controlling ourselves. Recently I was thinking of when I first started self control. One of the first thinks that I remember learning was how to control my mouth. Which is one of the hardest things, in my book, to try to do. Sometimes it seemed as though my mouth actually had a mind of it's own. It would ramble off information thinking that everyone wanted to listen. It's been about 20 years since I first started to control my spoken words, and "why" you ask would I want to. After all isn't it better to say what's on your mind and get everything out in the open? Or be able to share your knowledge with others or guide, help others through discussions of life issues. Well, yes it is, if what you are saying is actually helping or guiding, teaching or releasing. Most of the time however our responses are automated - we respond to what we think others want to hear or what point we are trying to make. We don't take the time to stop and think of what we are saying. The words just free fall from our mouths and what ends up happening a lot of the time is the conversation turns into a bitch session and nothing really gets resolved.

So what did I do to try to have more control over my speech, my words.....I just SHUT UP! When I wanted to reply or make a statement - I didn't. I just kept quiet. It wasn't easy, I am a fiery redhead with the attitude to match (at least I was, ok - sometimes I still am) and 99% of the time I would tell you exactly what I thought-no holds barred. However this was not helping others and definitely was not benefiting me any either. So I started to make it a point to "not" give my opinion - not to say that what I had to say wasn't important, however importance wasn't the issue. I wanted more self-control, I wanted to stop and think before the words came spilling out - and I wanted what I had to say make a real difference in my life and the lives of those around me.

Here are some things that have improved since that first day 20 years ago.

My benefits of SHUTTING UP:

It has helped me to be a better listener.
It has helped me to have better control of my mouth.
I think about what words I want to use before I say them.
It has helped me to not respond automatically in anger or frustration.
It has shown me that having better control of self first allows me to help others better.

There is a lot of power in the words we speak - What are you saying (or not saying) today?