Qualities of a Best Friend - The Basics for Marriage?

I mentioned in my previous post that my husband Pete is my best friend. That got me thinking about how others would answer. If you were asked the question, "Who is your best friend?" What would you say? What would your answer be?

I have a feeling that not many people would say that it was their spouse or significant other. But why wouldn't you? Why didn't you? Wouldn't the person that you chose to spend the rest of your life with be your best friend?

What is it about your best friend that is different? What qualities do they have that has brought them to that special place in you life? They now hold that special title of "Best Friend", that you so graciously have given to them.

Maybe you don't have a best friend - but if you did, what would you want them to be like? Think about this for a moment, ponder it for a while.

If I was making a list of some requirements I wanted in a best friend it would look something like this:

• Someone I can trust
• Someone who is honest
• Someone I can speak to freely
• Have similar interests
• Makes me laugh
• Encourages me

 These are just a few qualities I wanted in my best friend. What are your requirements? What do you want in your best friend? What ever they are I'm thinking that these should also be your basic requirements in all your relationships - especially in a long term relationship. After all, if your planning on spending the rest of your life with someone you should be happy in every area of that relationship.

I'll ask you again:
"Who is your Best Friend?"

Best Friends

I have the perfect best friend in all of the world!

He listens to me every time I need to vent and blow off steam.

I share my most intimate thoughts and ideas with him and he is always encouraging and supportive.

We have the most entertaining and deep conversations - we may not always agree with each other, but that's ok.

He has never tried to change me - he likes me just the way I am.

I enjoy being around him every moment of every day - I am never bored.

We laugh and dance.

Oh and by the way, my best friends name is Pete and we've been married for 12 years.
And when I look into his eyes and see his smile I know that he loves me - just the way I am.

Who's Relationship is it Anyway?

It's called a "personal relationship" with God/Creator - then why do we feel the need to "verbally" stick our noses into someone else's relationship with God/Creator? Shouldn't we be more concerned about our own personal relationship. Making sure that our own relationship with God/Creator is growing. After all, if we are not growing how on earth do you expect to help anyone else?

If we truly wish to help others to grow spiritually then we need to physically shut-up and instead open up our prayers/meditations for those we love - prayer/meditation has power.

Not to say we should not encourage or inspire others with our words - but not out of our own heads or our own rationalizations - we should be lead of the spirit to say those words of wisdom that will make much more of an impact on those we love - more than anything we could ever think of on our own.

Are you a person that continues to tell others what they should or shouldn't be doing in regards to their relationship with God/Creator - are you truly trying to help them? One way to decide for yourself if you are really trying to help or if you are merely trying to control them is to notice how you feel when they do not do as you ask. Do you get angry or upset? If you do, then you are trying to control their relationship, and you probably don't even realize that you are doing so. We all are growing spiritually in our own time - forcing an issue only causes resistance.

If you really trust God/Creator then you know that what ever you ask will be given. So lead by example and trust what you ask for in prayer will be given.

In the meantime.....just Shut-up.

The Season of Giving....and Presents!

It's that time of year again - Christmas, the season of giving.....and presents!

Everyone looks forward to opening their gifts. We've been eyeing them, shaking them, debating if we should peek at them. The excitement is growing as we get closer and closer to the day we can rip into them!

Stop! Don't touch that present yet!
Excuse me, I've been waiting long enough!

I know, but I would like you to wait for one moment.
Alright, what is it?

Before you open your presents I would like you to humor me for a minute by taking a moment to use your imagination.
My imagination?! What on earth for?

Just listen to me for a second and close your eyes.
Ok, but this better be good.

Alright then. Think of the person you are receiving the gift from and picture him/her in your head.
Ok, I'm picturing.

Now imagine this person driving to the store. They get out of the car and walk into the store; in their hand is a list of people that they are buying gifts for. Your name is on the list. Do you see your name?
Yes, I see it.

This person is wandering the store thinking about you and trying to figure out what to get for you. Do you see them looking?
Yes.

After some time of looking, and some frustration, they pick something that they think you might like. They buy it and take it home. They pick out the wrapping paper, and with care, wrap it up and place the tag on the gift with your name on it. Do you see them wrapping your gift? Do you see the time, the effort and the thought that they put into finding you this gift?
They did put a lot of time into it.

Now, I have one last question to ask you. Please think very carefully before you answer.

What do you appreciate more - the gift, or the person who gave it to you?

Your answer here:__________

What's the Big Deal? -or- Those little things that drive us Nuts!

What little things am I talking about you ask. It's those little things, the ones that drive us crazy about the people we live with. It could be your husband or wife, the kids or maybe a roommate or significant other; but no matter who it is there is usually something that drives us absolutely up the wall. Here are some examples of what I mean:

• wet towels lying on the bedroom floor
• socks in the living room
• toys on the floor (you just tripped on another one)
• dirty dishes in the bedroom
• clothes not folded the way you want them

(and my all time favorite)

• toilet seat left up

This is actually a old list of things that used to drive me up the wall. I remember times when I would be so angry that I would have to repeat myself yet again that things were not getting done the way I wanted them. Do you ever have days like this?

Until one day a had a revelation - I started questioning why I was getting so angry. Why were these things such a big deal to me? Is it that huge of an issue to me? Isn't it more important for me to come home and have quality time with my family (or the person you share your home with), and not be such a "b-*-t-*h" (yep that word!) all the time. Not to say that I never have moments of "loosing it" but I try to pick my battles.

So how did I change my mind about how I felt in regards to my list. Like this:

• wet towel issue - usually I just pick it up, after all I'm standing there already so what's the big deal.
• socks in the living room - If I know who's they are I might toss them at the person and say, "I believe these are yours". Like I never have left socks lying around (oh no - not me).
• toys on the floor - well I don't have to deal with this one anymore (I have big kids now). But would it really hurt to help with this one, make it a game.
• dirty dishes in the bedroom - (ah yes, the old dried milk in the bottom of the glass) Well I usually let the dishes soak a bit anyways. No big deal.
• clothes not folded the way you want them - I'm now just thankful that they got folded and put away.

(I got a bit more creative with my favorite one)

• toilet seat left up - I like to think of it this way:
  

If we ladies require our men to put the toilet seat down, then shouldn't it only be fair that they require us ladies to put it back up? For those poor men it can be a lose-lose situation, if they leave the seat up, we sit down - we get wet. If they try to "go" by leaving the seat down, we sit down - we get wet. I don't get up-set - I laugh now.

All I'm trying to say here is "What's the big deal". These are all little things, everyday things, and they only becomes a big deal if we make them a big deal. Choose wisely, your happiness may depend on it.