Life Choices - What would You do Different?

Looking back over my life with all of the different experiences I've had and the choices I've made, I ask myself: "Is there anything I would have done differently?" Is there anything I would like to change?"

My answer - Absolutely not!

Every choice I made - every experience I've had has made me the person I am today. And I like me.

By no means was my life a piece of cake. I did not live a sheltered life where everything was all rosie. I've had my share of what most would consider "bad" decisions and experiences regarding relationships, finances and I'm sure many other areas that just aren't coming to my mind right now.

With each "bad" experience came growth - I learned something new or learned something again. So looking back there were no "bad" experiences - it was a opportunity for me to grow and learn (even though it didn't feel very good at the time).

Looking back at your own life do you see that you are not the same person you were 5, 10, or 20 years ago?
Do you see your growth, the lessons you've learned?

There are no mistakes so bad that they cannot be fixed.
There are no problems so bad that they cannot be solved.
There are no bad experiences - It's all about growing and learning

Power With In

You have more power with in you than you could ever imagine. You are always creating and growing even when you do not realize you are doing so.

What is this Power With In?
It is the power of your thoughts. It is what you think about yourself and the world you live in. What you are thinking you are getting - always. This power you have has two parts; one part is what you think and the other part are the emotions. You cannot separate the two - there is always a emotion that you associate with any given thought you think.

Using the Power With In
You can have a positive fulfilling life - just "think" it the way you want it. If you do not like something you are experiencing then change what you are thing about it or think about something that you do like. Always look for the positive - something that makes you happy.

Use your Power With In wisely - choose your thoughts carefully.

Financial Freedom through Cost per Action Marketing

With the current state of the economy, its not surprising that more and more people are turning to the internet in hopes of finding something that would help ease their financial burden and perhaps provide them with the financial freedom that they so desire. There are many opportunities available online through which you can earn some extra cash. In fact, there are some that’s lucrative enough to provide a person with a steady income. Among the most popular ways of making money online is affiliate marketing. A lot of people have tried it and a good number of those people actually became successful with it. Now, there are different types of affiliate marketing to choose from and in this article, Ill discuss cost per action and how it can provide you with a steady stream of income to help lessen the burden of the bills you have to pay and perhaps help you build a business that would hopefully provide you with the financial freedom you want in the future. Now, most affiliate marketing programs would require you to generate a lead and subsequently get that “lead” to purchase something from your affiliate business. For some, this can be done easily but this isn’t always the case. Especially right now since most people have gotten very careful about the way they spend their money. It’s quite hard to get them to part with their hard earned cash. Good news is that with CPA or cost per action marketing, you need not worry about this.

Why? Because with CPA, all you have to do is generate leads and instead of getting them to buy something, you would only have to get them to submit their email address or fill out a form or answer a survey. All that’s required of them is some kind of information. Of course, with a little nudge from you and some good recommendation, this is much easier to do. Information is much easier to give out than money; it’s a very simple logic. Now, there are a variety of CPA marketing programs from which you can choose. You can take your pick from various health products, makeup, wellness products and so on. Just choose the ones that prefer and that you have some kind of knowledge about. This would make writing about it much easier, trust me.

As for the payout, don’t belittle the few dollars that you’ll probably earn your first time in the “game”. Rates can be anywhere from $1-$25 and above. The rates just get higher according to the amount of information the company needs. Basically, the more info they need, the higher your payout would be. So, would I recommend that you try this program out if you are looking for financial freedom? Yes, I do. It’s simple, easy to understand and is lucrative enough to provide you with an extra source of income. Remember that the more effort you put in, the more you’ll earn. After all, financial freedom doesn’t just drop from the heavens and onto your lap. It’s something that you work towards and what better way to do that than to take advantage of the many CPA opportunities available? Do give it a try today.

CPA – Make Money Online

I’m sure you’ve already heard about the different opportunities available to you when it comes to making money online. If you have heard or perhaps even tried affiliate marketing then I’m quite sure that you have also heard about CPA or cost per action programs. In a way, CPA is really the easiest and fastest way to earn money online. Typically when one talks about affiliate marketing the first thing that comes to mind would be the commission that you can earn by leading people to your affiliate business’ website and subsequently convincing them to purchase something from them. This sounds like an easy enough process, right? There is, however, a much easier way to generate profits online and that is through cost per action programs. But before we delve deeper into how cost per action program functions, let’s talk about what it is exactly. I’m sure you’re familiar with the most common kind of affiliate marketing which is pay per sell where you basically receive commission for every sale you make for your affiliate business. Cost per action works in a similar fashion except for the fact that instead of getting commissions for sales, you get paid for every person you can get to submit their email address or fill out a form or survey.

Now, let’s talk about CPA networks. These are basically directory of various services and products currently offered by companies who are looking for people to generate leads for them. Joining a cost per action network would provide you with access to these offers and you can then choose according to your preferences. The best bit about joining one of these networks is that you can be sure that you get paid for the leads that you are able to generate for the company behind the program. You can also choose between a variety of different programs which can be anything from health related products, clothing surveys, newsletters and so on. As for the payment itself, the company might choose to pay per visit or for every unique lead you are able to generate. The rates can go from $1-$25 or even higher depending on the amount of information the company would require from a certain lead.

Now, what makes CPA the easier way to make money online when compared to other forms of affiliate marketing? Well, for starters, it doesn’t require any sort of purchase in order for you to make money. Unlike commissions which you receive whenever you get someone to purchase something from your affiliate’s website. Let’s face it, people are more careful about the way they spend their money these days and getting them to part with their hard earned cash can be very, very tricky even with the promise of a discount or some kind of freebie when they do decide to purchase something. On the other hand, getting people to provide information such as their email addresses or answers to a survey is a much easier task to achieve. Once they provided everything that the affiliate company need’s you get your payout. It’s that simple. So do give it a try and who knows, you just might make a killing with it.

Affiliate Marketing – Cost Per Action Programs 411

These days, more and more people are looking for ways to earn extra money. I suppose I can assume that you are among these people since you are reading this article. Well, I’ll make it worth your time and let you in on something that just might give you that extra source of income that you need. When it comes to making money online, there are plenty of choices. However, there is one that’ slowly climbing up the ladder and proving itself to be one of the easiest and fastest ways to make a profit online. What am I talking about? Well, I’m talking about the various affiliate marketing programs that are part of the cost per action network which you’ll be able to find online. Affiliate marketing, as I’m sure you are already aware of is one of the most popular ways of generating an income online but not many people know about cost per action programs. Cost per action is basically a vehicle for advertising by which a business can create simple offers which only require very little from the user or the person reading it. This could be anything from something as simple as submitting their email addresses in exchange for a discount or providing answers to a survey in exchange for a free sample and so on. How does this relate to affiliate marketing? Well, affiliates would make a commission for every lead or sign up that they get from a user.

Still don’t get it? Here’s a scenario to help you understand better. Imagine that you are an advertiser and you want to generate quick and efficient leads for your business. You can achieve this by hiring a CPA or cost per action network that would then do all the work for you. This network would then pay various affiliates to generate the leads that you want. Your business receives the leads and you basically pay the network to do that. Of course, you only pay whenever someone submits their email, fills out a simple form or basically does whatever it is that you require. What makes this a great way to make money online is the fact that you need not convince a person to purchase anything which is significantly harder than getting them to submit their email or fill out a form. This is exactly like your typical affiliate marketing program sans the need for people to actually buy something before you make a commission.

As for the pay out, this can range from $1-$25 depending on the advertiser’s requirements. There are plenty of CPA networks out there which you can join. Their offers can be anything from free ring tones, credit cards, health related products, government grants and so on. These companies could either pay by visitor or for every unique lead that you generate for them. Of course, for you to make any money from it, the person you have led to their main site must provide all the necessary information otherwise your efforts would prove to be pointless. So if you’re looking to try something new and perhaps earn some money along the way, do give this a go.

Work from Home – CPA Marketing

These days, more and more people are starting to understand that they can actually work from home and still earn enough money to cover all their payables. But of course, as with any other kind of work or business, this too involves effort and time before you get into a level where you do earn enough for your everyday expenses. As for the options available to those who want to work from home, there are plenty! But if you are looking for something simple then I suggest you begin with affiliate marketing. Now, there are different types of affiliate marketing which you can try. The easiest would be CPA or cost per action marketing. Cost per action marketing programs are the easiest because you will make money through it without even having to make a sale. Unlike pay per sale programs wherein you would have to generate a lead and then get that “lead” to purchase something from the affiliate business’ website in order to receive your commission. Getting someone to purchase something, in these tough times, can be a very difficult thing to achieve. Let’s face it, people are more careful about the way they spend their money and as such, despite having generated a good amount of lead you cannot depend on each and every one of them to purchase something. In fact, you might not make one sale at all. Sad but true.

But with cost per action marketing programs all you have to do is get them to submit their email address or subscribe to a newsletter. Other times, they might need to fill out a form or answer a survey but the bottom line is that they don’t have to purchase anything for you to make money. All you need to do is get them to give the information that the company needs and when they’re done, you get paid. It’s that simple. Giving out information will not cost them a dime and as such more people would be willing to do it. It would be more effective if you do offer some kind of incentive like a free mp3 or a discount but even without it, you can still be successful. These programs come in different varieties. From various newsletters about all sorts of things such as fashion, book clubs, health and so on. It could also be a survey being done by a company that’s about to launch a new product and need people’s opinions. It could also be a business looking to build an email group. Needless to say, people who want to work from home have plenty of options.

As for the rates, every lead and successful sign up you make can generate anywhere from $1-$25 and above in terms of payout. The rate depends upon the amount of information the company requires. For example, email addresses usually amount to $1-$5. Surveys or forms that require a lot of info can be $25 and above. The idea is that the more information the person gives, the more you earn. So would I recommend this program for people who want to work from home? Yes, definitely. So you should consider looking into it if you want to learn more about the ways by which you can generate extra income for your household.

Cost Per Action – What You Need to Know

Looking for a way to earn extra income online? Well, you’ve stumbled upon the right article. Have you ever heard of cost per action? Well, if you are participating in the various affiliate marketing programs then I’m sure that you must’ve read or heard about it at some point. Otherwise known as CPA, cost per action is quickly becoming one of the most lucrative, simplest and fastest ways to earn money online. In a way, compared to all other types of affiliate marketing, CPA is indeed easier to do. After all, unlike programs wherein you have to be able to sell something for a company in order to earn your commission, CPA only requires you to get someone to fill out a form or submit their email address to your main affiliate. It is significantly simpler and not to mention the fact that it is much easier to convince people to submit their email address or fill out a form than to get them to purchase something. How do you get paid? Well, for every lead or sign up that you generate, you get a certain amount of pay out which could be anywhere from $1-$25 or higher depending on the amount of information needed by your main affiliate. Typically, $1-$5 is given when you get people to submit their emails or fill up a short form.

Wondering about how cost per action actually works? Imagine this scenario. Think of yourself as an advertiser and of course the one thing that you want is to generate leads for your business quickly and efficiently. Now, if you were to do this yourself, the process would be tedious and would eat up a lot of your free time. So the next best step would be to hire a CPA network to do all of the work for you. These CPA networks would then deal with the affiliates who would generate the leads for you. After you receive the leads that you need, you simply pay the CPA network and they, in turn, would pay the affiliates who did the work. It’s a win-win situation for all three, actually.

What makes cost per action programs the best way to make money online? Well, if you really think about it, it’s the ease of the process that really trumps all others. When you depend upon your ability to sell a product in order to earn commission this basically means that you would have to work hard in convincing a person to part with their hard earned money and purchase something from your affiliate business’ website. This is no easy feat. After all, times are tough and people are more careful with how they spend their money. On the other hand, getting them to answer a few questions or submit their emails is relatively easier. Add a little bonus a freebie or a discount at some online shop and I’m sure you can easily get people to give the information your affiliate business needs. Do consider giving it a try if you’re already in the affiliate marketing business. Even if you aren’t, consider it because you never know how it can help your income.

Finding the Best Opportunity

My main goal at this time in my life is to make at least the same amount of money online that I do at my "job".  I never wanted to work out side of the home - however - I do like money!

I've been looking for an opportunity (or perhaps more than one) for...well, too long. I've come across many that I thought would "be the one".  They were all good businesses, however once I was involved (and put some cash into them)  I found that it really was not what I was looking for and lost interest after awhile.  This is why it is so important to really figure out what you want before you "go for it".  If  I only had done this from the beginning I would have saved myself some time and money...but then I would not have learned any lessons.


Here's what I was looking for:

• Easy and simple to do
• Can take it with me where ever I go
• No employees
• Potential to earn more that I desire
• Freedom 

Now there are a lot of money making opportunities out there and you can find so many of them on the internet.  Not all of them are legit.  So it's best to figure out what you want before you start looking around.  If the only thing you know is that you want to make a lot of money - Then ask yourself this, "What is the Best way for me to earn ($$$) per month?"  You fill in what ever dollar amount you like.  Then keep your eyes and ears open.  Start looking around and keep asking yourself that question until you get your answer.

As I said before - I've looked at many money making opportunities and it doesn't hurt to read and research the ones that interest you.

Here is one that interests me ZeroFrictionMarketingFreedom.  Check it out now and see if it's the right one for you.  If not, keep looking and find the one that is right for you.

Getting What you Want

Our lives are full of experiences and each of our experiences can be listed under different categories like love, family, jobs, etc. Under each category we have learned something which helps us to better define what we are really looking for or what we would prefer to have or experience in each of those situations.

Many people think of a experience as being either good or bad.  I believe there are no such thing as bad experiences - it's really an opportunity to fine tune what you would prefer to have happen.

Let's look at making money as a example.  If you are not happy in the job you are currently in then you need to figure out why.  Why don't you like this particular experience.  The best way I've found to do this, and can be applied to any area of you life, is to make a list of the things you like and don't like.  Yes it involves a bit of work on your part :-)

Writing a list helps you to see the good that you have and helps you to clearly recognized what you want. Now take a look at the things you don't like.  Maybe your not making enough money or you don't like the hours you work.

Ask yourself this "what do I want?"

Let's say that one of your statements is "I don't like my hourly pay". Your first answer would probably be I want more money.  Good answer.  But how much money do you want?  The best answers are when you break it down and get into specifics.  Be reasonable with your answers.  You need to believe that what you want is possible for you to get.  So jumping from a current pay of $9/per hour to $20/per hour may not be believable to you but maybe you would believe that $12/per hour is perfect.  It has to feel right.

So now what?  What do you do after you've figured out what you really want?  How do you figure out what will get you what you want?

It's time to put your mind to work.  I'm a strong believer that we have the best answers within ourselves, if we would only ask the right questions and keep our desires up front and in our face as much as possible.  Our minds love to solve problems - and it won't solve anything unless we ask the question.

So in order to solve the problem of how am I going to get the $12/per hour - you would write the ultimate question.  I would write the ultimate question like this:

"What is the Best way for me to Now earn $12 per hour and enjoy it?"

Like I said previously, you need to keep it in your face, you need to keep it in your mind as often as you can. You can do this in different ways like posting the question on the frig, in the car, on the mirror, next to the computer.  Just be sure to read it several times a day. Just before sleep is a great time too.

You will amaze yourself with the ideas and opportunities that start showing up - you'll always get the best answers when you ask yourself the ultimate questions.

Shut Up!

Control is an amazing thing - not control of others but the freedom of controlling ourselves. Recently I was thinking of when I first started self control. One of the first thinks that I remember learning was how to control my mouth. Which is one of the hardest things, in my book, to try to do. Sometimes it seemed as though my mouth actually had a mind of it's own. It would ramble off information thinking that everyone wanted to listen. It's been about 20 years since I first started to control my spoken words, and "why" you ask would I want to. After all isn't it better to say what's on your mind and get everything out in the open? Or be able to share your knowledge with others or guide, help others through discussions of life issues. Well, yes it is, if what you are saying is actually helping or guiding, teaching or releasing. Most of the time however our responses are automated - we respond to what we think others want to hear or what point we are trying to make. We don't take the time to stop and think of what we are saying. The words just free fall from our mouths and what ends up happening a lot of the time is the conversation turns into a bitch session and nothing really gets resolved.

So what did I do to try to have more control over my speech, my words.....I just SHUT UP! When I wanted to reply or make a statement - I didn't. I just kept quiet. It wasn't easy, I am a fiery redhead with the attitude to match (at least I was, ok - sometimes I still am) and 99% of the time I would tell you exactly what I thought-no holds barred. However this was not helping others and definitely was not benefiting me any either. So I started to make it a point to "not" give my opinion - not to say that what I had to say wasn't important, however importance wasn't the issue. I wanted more self-control, I wanted to stop and think before the words came spilling out - and I wanted what I had to say make a real difference in my life and the lives of those around me.

Here are some things that have improved since that first day 20 years ago.

My benefits of SHUTTING UP:

It has helped me to be a better listener.
It has helped me to have better control of my mouth.
I think about what words I want to use before I say them.
It has helped me to not respond automatically in anger or frustration.
It has shown me that having better control of self first allows me to help others better.

There is a lot of power in the words we speak - What are you saying (or not saying) today?

A Glimpse of Glory

I know that I said that my next post would be an update on my three focus areas, however I recently came across something I wrote some time ago (about 10 years or so ago) that I thought I would share with everyone.

You could say that this is sort of in line with my focus area of "higher spiritual connection". As I read through it I was reminded that one of my original desires of 25+ years ago was to have spiritual growth. There were times that I was absolutely obsessed with it, and many of my family and friends would most likely say that I was a fanatic. But finding this again has reminded me of where I was and where I am now in my connection - and that we do receive our desires.

I no longer agree with the message in it - I've changed.
But I must say that I do believe in the power of Jesus, I do believe in Heaven and that's where we all will go, but I don't believe we go to Hell.

And now presenting my beliefs 10 years ago.....

A GLIMPSE OF GLORY

She was standing in line; it would be her turn soon.

Quickly she went over all the things she had done in her life-time; let's see she thought, she had listened to her parents, got good grades in school, never smoked or drank and went to church every Sunday. Obeyed her husband, like the Bible had told her to, raised her children to pray before meals and bedtime, made sure the family went to church.

The line moved forward, the excitement in her grew.

I've gone to all the Bible study groups, all of the church functions. Helped out with the serving and was even a substitute Sunday school teacher. He will be so proud of me!

She was next.

It's so beautiful - the jewels and streets of gold; every thing seemed so alive! She could never have imagined that this was Heaven. It was too beautiful to describe.

Her name was called. She stepped forward.

His presence was so awesome. She immediately dropped to bow before Him. He was Glorious! His robes were pure white with a gold belt; His hair long and flowing was white as snow. His face was bright as the Sun. His eyes could see through you -

She had made it.

He opened the Book of Life. "I do not know you", she heard Him say. A shock wave went through her. "You know all that I have done - I was good!"

"All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.
You did not accept Me, I do not accept you."

A Glimpse of Glory - She wept.

Author: Khristine White

_______________________

It seems in one way very sad that I - like so many others - bought into this concept; however it did serve me well...it put me on the spiritual path of growth...after all, we all had to start somewhere.

I'm Back!

Well this post is to update my many readers that I'm still here, doing well and apologize for not posting in a while.

In my next blog I will be updating everyone on the results that I've had in my 3 focus areas which are financial, writing and having a stronger spiritual connection. If you would like to read what I wrote earlier about my focus areas you can read about it here.

Again I do apologize for looking like I'd been missing in action- but what can I say..."Life happens!"

Focus Baby!

I read a great article at the beginning of this month called “Setting Your Primary Focus” by Steve Pavlina regarding New Year’s resolutions. He spoke of how he doesn’t make resolutions per se but he re-evaluates his life and chooses a focus area for that year. It really sounds like a better plan than trying stick to a resolution which is usually forgotten about in a month or two. It just makes so much sense.

So I decided to give it a try. Personally I’ve tried to do the whole New Year’s resolution thing in the past and it has never worked out for me. Usually it’s something that is so unrealistic to begin with or it might be something that I know I should do – but I really don’t want to do it. You have to really want it if it’s going to work at all. So I gave up; I haven’t done a resolution in years.

This year I’m doing it the Pavlina way…focus baby!

I’ve chosen three area’s of focus for the year, financial, writing and having a stronger connection spiritually. The number one primary focus is the financial area with my other two areas’s being secondary. And of course I chose financial because this is the area at the moment that is seriously lacking in my world. I asked myself some questions when figuring out what I wanted to focus on; this was pretty easy for me. I just asked what areas were lacking in my life. Financial was the main area, the other two items are things I wish to improve. Here is an example of what sort of questions I asked myself:

• What area am I noticing lack or what would I like to improve in my life?
• Why do I want to improve this area?
• What sort of things can do to keep focused? and/or
• How will I do this?
  

I started this process a few days after I read Steve’s article and I’ve seen some interesting results. It’s too soon to post anything significant yet – but I’ll be sure to update my results down the road.

A "Fixer's" Dilemma

It used to drive me nuts when people would talk to me about situations that they are going through or relationships that they are in that were crappy; or they just plain didn't know how to handle this, that or the other thing - I would give them my point of view, ideas of how to change it - And nothing would change! The next time I talked to them it was same-ole, same-ole.

By nature I'm a "fixer". I love to help others to figure out what the problem may be and help them to find solutions to fix it. However, being the fixer that I am comes with a lot of frustration. I see the solution to their problem, others see the solution.....but they just aren't getting it!
So how do I handle it?

Who's Got The Control

One of the first things that helped me out of this frustrating dilemma was realizing that the only person that I have 100% control of is ME. I cannot live others lives for them, I do not think for them, they will only change IF THEY want to. To be honest if you are the sort of person that easily gets angry or frustrated about how someone else is living their life or the way they are acting - then you have control issues (I know I did)- you need to let it go. Not only is it an issue of controlling others, you are actually giving them control over how you are feeling. Have you ever said something like, "Oh he made me angry!!" - Well, he didn't make you angry, you allowed it to effect you; you allowed yourself to get angry. Do you see the difference? This isn't the easiest feeling to let go of, but it is definitely worth it for your own peace of mind.

Letting the Manager Handle It

Another thing that I find very useful is turning it over to the manager to handle. I know, now your saying, "Manager? You have a manager?" Yes I do. But not the kind that you might be thinking. This isn't a physical manager, it's my spiritual manager. Its much like giving it up to God to handle. I have a notebook that I have labeled "My Universal Managers To Do List." In this notebook I list all of the things that I know that I don't have control over, things that I know that I cannot change and let my manager take care of them. You don't even have to believe in God; it's a very relaxing process of releasing those things that bug you. I found this idea in a very good book that I've been reading call "Ask and It Is Given" by Ester and Jerry Hicks. There are many great processes included in this book to help in any area of your life. Another nice thing about this process is that if you're ever feeling angry or upset about that particular person or situation at any point in the future you simple say, "I don't have to think about "that" because my Manager is taking care of it." What a sense of relief.

Final Thoughts

Would you go around to all of your neighbors, asking them for their trash? Can you imagine it? There you are standing in the yard, calling to your neighbors..."Hey Joe! Hey Sarah! Bring your trash on over here, I would love to hold on to it for you!" Pretty soon the trash has piled up, stinks and your frustrated.
This is what basically happens when you hold on to all of those things that belong to other people - there not your problems, there not your issues. Stop trying to take control of the everyone else's trash (problems). You take care of what you can and let your manager (or trash man) take care of the rest.

Freedom in My Lesson Learned

Look back at your life....what do you see, what have you learned? I have a list of things, items if you will, that I personally have learned throughout my life - I call it My Life Lessons. Some were pretty easy, others much more difficult and took a bit more time. But I did learn them.

I passed! *smiling ear to ear*

My most difficult lesson came very early in my life. It was the end of my senior year of high school, just before graduation. I was seventeen and pregnant - and made the decision to have an abortion.

My Mom was against it, my best friend was against it, and the boys family was against it. It was morally wrong and they were all going to try to stop me. But they didn't - I went ahead and did it anyways.

My parents had raised a woman with a mind of her own - although many would probably say that I'm just a stubborn redhead (which is also true). But this decision was mine and no one was going to talk me out of it or tell me what I was going to do with my life. And no one did.

Looking back at it now I still believe I made the right choice. Please do not misunderstand, to this day I am against abortion and would never encourage anyone to have one. But for me it was a huge lesson that I needed to learn. You see even when I was seventeen I knew in my heart that killing was wrong. I had received enough back ground information in regards to God that I knew I had committed a huge "no-no"- "Thou shalt not kill." In my eyes I had not only killed - it was pre-meditated murder.

Four Years of Hell

So the lesson started. I put myself through hell for about four years. There was no one to blame but myself, I had made the decision in the first place. I could have listened to those who cared about me, but the real lessons that we learn are the ones we usually have to learn the hard way - through our own reality.

Guilt and the need for forgiveness drove me to learn more about God and Jesus. I knew that all I had to do was "ask" to be forgiven and I would be. I knew - I understood what I had done wrong. I prayed, I cried, and I asked. I didn't understand why if all I had to do was ask, then why didn't I feel forgiven . Why did I still feel so horrible. Why did my heart feel like it would burst. Why was my sorrow so over whelming.

Freedom in my lesson learned

It was Sunday morning worship service. ( I love this part of church). Everyone is singing and rejoicing - it's like you are in this beautiful flow of energy. For some it is so wonderful that it brings tears of joy; for me this morning it was tears of need, tears of desire to truly feel forgiven. I was crying, literally bawling. My heart was breaking. And I heard a voice, like someone standing above me. I heard these words spoken to me...

"I have forgiven you, but you haven't forgiven yourself."

Oh the rush of joy! Again the bawling, only this time tears of relief and understandings.

This moment in my life-this hard learned lesson has helped me in understanding how important it is to truly forgive ones self. It's not just about forgiving the person that cut you off or called you that name in anger. After all, no one is perfect. We all have done things that we have regretted or wished we never had done. But it is usually in our wrong choices that we learn our most valuable lessons. So really there are no wrong choices - just difficult lessons. I'm learning mine - what about you?

What's the Big Deal? -or- Those little things that drive us Nuts!

What little things am I talking about you ask. It's those little things, the ones that drive us crazy about the people we live with. It could be your husband or wife, the kids or maybe a roommate or significant other; but no matter who it is there is usually something that drives us absolutely up the wall. Here are some examples of what I mean:

• wet towels lying on the bedroom floor
• socks in the living room
• toys on the floor (you just tripped on another one)
• dirty dishes in the bedroom
• clothes not folded the way you want them

(and my all time favorite)

• toilet seat left up

This is actually a old list of things that used to drive me up the wall. I remember times when I would be so angry that I would have to repeat myself yet again that things were not getting done the way I wanted them. Do you ever have days like this?

Until one day a had a revelation - I started questioning why I was getting so angry. Why were these things such a big deal to me? Is it that huge of an issue to me? Isn't it more important for me to come home and have quality time with my family (or the person you share your home with), and not be such a "b-*-t-*h" (yep that word!) all the time. Not to say that I never have moments of "loosing it" but I try to pick my battles.

So how did I change my mind about how I felt in regards to my list. Like this:

• wet towel issue - usually I just pick it up, after all I'm standing there already so what's the big deal.
• socks in the living room - If I know who's they are I might toss them at the person and say, "I believe these are yours". Like I never have left socks lying around (oh no - not me).
• toys on the floor - well I don't have to deal with this one anymore (I have big kids now). But would it really hurt to help with this one, make it a game.
• dirty dishes in the bedroom - (ah yes, the old dried milk in the bottom of the glass) Well I usually let the dishes soak a bit anyways. No big deal.
• clothes not folded the way you want them - I'm now just thankful that they got folded and put away.

(I got a bit more creative with my favorite one)

• toilet seat left up - I like to think of it this way:
  

If we ladies require our men to put the toilet seat down, then shouldn't it only be fair that they require us ladies to put it back up? For those poor men it can be a lose-lose situation, if they leave the seat up, we sit down - we get wet. If they try to "go" by leaving the seat down, we sit down - we get wet. I don't get up-set - I laugh now.

All I'm trying to say here is "What's the big deal". These are all little things, everyday things, and they only becomes a big deal if we make them a big deal. Choose wisely, your happiness may depend on it.

Why do I Blog?

When I first started to seriously think about writing, I was stumped on what to write. There are so many subjects to pick from. I knew I wanted something that would grab the reader's attention. I was having a problem focusing on just one. Then one evening my husband Pete asked me a question, "Do you know what would be a great subject to write about?" "What's that?", I asked. "Us. How we get along with each other, and yet we are opposites." Wow, did that strike a cord. That was enough to keep me in a thinking mode for a bit.

So I figured that if I wanted to be a writer-I needed to write. I've always been big on reading, however I knew I needed to get into the habit of writing on a regular basis. Not only did I need to write - I had to let others "see me". Blogging would be a great way to write and get my thoughts out where others have a chance to see them. I explained this and other details to my husband on what I am hoping to accomplish in writing my "Food for Thought" blog and my main goal of writing a book that will in some way inspire people to improve their thoughts and create a life they want - to be happier. Ideas started flowing from him and I wrote every one of them down. He is a great encourager and support to me. Soon I will be writing about relationships (thank you Pete). Currently I am in the process of organizing them.

Please don't think that the only subject will be relationships- ask any of my kids, my husband or friends...I've got opinions and thoughts on pretty much everything! ;)

Choosing Who You Are

The dictionary's definition of "choose" (choosing): To make a choice; to prefer or decide to do something. Syn- Choose, Select, Pick, Elect, Prefer indicate a decision that one or more possibilities are to be regarded more highly than others.

Hmmm, let me see now, let me think about this a moment...you mean to tell me that I can be who I want to be simply by making a choice? Yep, pretty much.

So what types of things do we or can we make choices about? Everything really. Who we love or hate, our jobs, where we live -everything. There is one sentence that I hear often, which is: "That's just the way I am." And the question I would love to ask these people is, "But is that who you want to be?"

So my question to you the reader is this, "If you could be anyone or anything that you wanted, then what or who would that be?" This may take some thought and time to come up with your answers. But it is absolutely worth the effort. Why should we go through life letting life happen in a haphazardly way when we have the opportunity to select how we want it to be.

After all - it's your brain, your thoughts, your life, and it's your choice.

Time Management - It's ok to say no

So it's the end of the day, your stressed, tired, and nothing seemed to get done. You've been running around doing things for everyone else. You look around the house and the dishes are still sitting there, laundry needs to be done, dinner has to be made...been there, done that.

I always seemed to be running around doing errands for others and never had the time to do the things that were important to me. Don't get me wrong, helping others out is fine and I believe it's good to help now and again. However if it's taking time away from my family, time with my husband or something that it on "my" to do list (or maybe I just want a day to myself) then I say no. Now I'm a bit more picky on what I choose to say "yes" to. It was a great relief to me to finally have the courage to say "no".

If we are constantly running around doing things for other's then when do we have the time to work on making our own circumstances better. Sometimes I think that we fill our lives with so many little extra's (that add up) because we don't want to have to deal with our own stuff. We always seem to have the advice or time for everyone else. But when it's time to handle our own things we freeze up.

So how can we break this cycle, how do we know if we are doing too much for others and not enough for ourselves? One way that I think would be very helpful is to make a list at the end of the day. List everything that you did that day. Next to each thing you did simply write who you did it for. Was it for you personally or someone else. Now look at the list and ask yourself this question: "How important was this to me?"

There's a saying that goes "God never gives you more than you can handle." But have you chosen to take on more than He's given you? Interesting question, don't you think?